I have finally decided to uproot my life from the USA and head over to U.K. - to take a shot at my much dreamt Ph.D. I am not sure, if I am going to regret this decision, or if this decision is going to become the most epic success story of my life. But I am taking a leap of faith, and with me, my beautiful soul mate, my wife.
But this post is not about how difficult things are or how adventurous and heroic our decisions are when we are shunning the "luxury" of the STATES, "the land of freedom and opportunity", etc. I had never felt any attachment or attraction towards ANY country for that matter. Countries are the most laughable concepts, devised by men of power, who are arrogant enough to hope that they can draw lines on a piece of paper that doesn't even represent the real geographical snapshot of earth, and carve the planet a little more amongst themselves. It's laughable, because it is as permanent as early morning dew drops on leaves. The era of humans as they call it, is only a blip, on the timeline of mother earth.
I think I am digressing, so more to that later.
This post , as I was saying, is about how each and everyone of us, is after writing his own epic saga with their lives. I observed this fact when I had to finally sell my first car, because of the move across the pond I mentioned earlier. This car, which I bought three and a half years ago, was the first car I ever owned (or my family ever owned), and it was bought entirely using my own money.
The buying of the car had several directives attached to it. It had to serve as the car that my wife would use to explore this country with me, the car that my mom would proudly call her own and take a tour of America in, a car that my wife's parents would enjoy and finally a car that projects an image a self reliant and successful Sagar.
The last point is as important as all of the former combined. That is because for the world and for me, this car marked a beginning of a chapter in the saga of life of Sagar. It represented the material props, required, to show the world and the people around, that this saga is going to be good. And above all, it acted as a point on the graph of life, all of us are trying to plot, which inevitably marked an upward trajectory. The act of plotting just starts as a side chore when we were in school, but has now become this obsession, which is the center of our lives. Comparing graphs is also a thing, and it brings up depression, sorrow, joy, jealousy and in some cases happiness.
This obsession about writing a great life story, has made us creatures that scare too easy. We are afraid of starting a new chapter. All this for a story that is merely a blip, on the blip, we call history of "the era of mankind".
The sheer insignificance of our decisions should make us free, alive and hopeful. But somehow it is not easy. It is not easy, to stop writing your sagas, and plotting your graphs. It is not easy to stop comparing your graphs with others. I wist it was, I really do.
Well, in a nutshell, stories and sagas are great to read, lives are great to live...
ciao,
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